Charlize Theron

Blonde Ambition

In this Enigma exclusive, Alex Preston speaks to the Academy Award winning blonde bombshell Charlize Theron. Although normally reluctant to discuss her upbringing, relationships and personal life, here Charlize, 34, goes against type and opens up about the impact her childhood has had on her life, why she will never marry and her dreams of having children.

 

ith a traumatic childhood, stunning looks and a movie star boyfriend, Charlize Theron has led the sort of life most tell-all starlets could dine out for months on. Yet the 34-year-old South African beauty seems unaffected by her fame, fortune and upbringing and shuns the limelight to remain down-to-earth and refreshingly normal.

 

The Afrikaans-speaking actress – English is her second language – grew up on a farm on the outskirts of Johannesburg before being sent to boarding school at the age of 13. Two years later the teenager’s world was turned upside-down when her mother Gerda shot dead her abusive alcoholic father Charles. Police declined to press charges against Gerda – who Charlize credits as her biggest influence and inspiration – as it was deemed to be self defence. The shooting occurred following an argument in which Charles threatened to kill Gerda and Charlize.

Charlize was later offered a way out of her small town life when she won a local modelling competition and moved to Italy and then on to New York, where she also trained as a dancer. A knee injury halted any thoughts of a ballet career, but the unwavering star refused to return to South Africa and instead set her sights on acting.

With boundless determination, Charlize moved to Los Angeles yet shunned the party scene, and quickly found a talent agent. Yet she later fired him for only sending her scripts for parts based on her looks. And her stubborn insistence to be acknowledged for more than just her beauty has been a strong theme in her career. Unlike many actresses, she jumped at the chance to pile on the pounds and disguise her beauty with ugly make-up to play the notorious serial killer Aileen Wuornos in Monster. Then she ditched cosmetics to play a bare-faced miner in North Country. And both bold moves paid off for her – Monster saw her become the first South African to win a Best Actress Oscar, propelling her to A-list status amid widespread critical acclaim, while she was also nominated for the award for her role in North Country.

Unlike many actresses of her stature, Charlize also has a settled personal life. She has been dating Irish actor Stuart Townsend, 35, since meeting him on the set of Trapped in 2001. The pair live happily together in Los Angeles, and though they refuse to tie the knot, they consider themselves married. Stuart has gone on record to say, “I consider her my wife and she considers me her husband. We didn’t have a ceremony. I don’t need a certificate or the state or the church to say otherwise. So there’s no big official story on a wedding, but we are married.”

Your mum shot your father in self-defence when you were just 15-years-old. What impact did that have on you?

Your childhood forms your character. I saw my mother unhappy every day. What happened with my father was extreme but my mother and I couldn’t let it determine the rest of our lives. You wouldn’t ever choose for that to happen but you can choose how you deal with it. Moving on became extremely important.

How did you move on?

I left home on my own. It was hard but I had been taught not to feel sorry for myself and to do things on my own. Even at school if my friends and I were in trouble, I would be the only child sitting in the head’s office without a parent. From a young age my mum taught me to look out for myself and deal with my own consequences. She had to give me armour.

Was moving to Los Angeles a struggle?

I was completely naïve. I came to Hollywood not quite realising everyone else who arrives wants exactly the same dream. But I was completely determined. I had no money, I’d ruined my knee so I couldn’t dance anymore and my only option was to return to South Africa or try my luck. I had absolutely nothing to lose.

While many celebrities speak willingly about their personal problems or allow them to be public knowledge, you seem to shy away from it. Why?

Is it so strange that I don’t buy into all that? Actually it upsets me the way a lot of so called celebrities just completely exploit themselves. I don’t get it. There is a decorum that I believe in that just doesn’t exist in Hollywood any more. I point blank refuse to be part of the way it is now. My whole life is about trying to move away from bad things and be happy. You have to work for that and once you have it, you have to guard it as the most precious thing because nothing lasts forever.

Both you and your boyfriend, Stuart Townsend, had just come out of relationships when you met in 2001. Did you think it was a bad idea to start a new relationship so soon?

I remember being incredibly physically attracted to Stuart but the timing was all wrong. He lived in London, I lived in Los Angeles. I knew it wasn’t going to work. I remember my mother really encouraging me to see him.

What made you change your mind?

It was weird because up until Stuart I used to do this thing with men where I’d completely separate them from my life. I’d have my mother and my very close friends as this huge part of me and then I’d have my boyfriend. If something great happened or something bad happened, the people I’d go to immediately were my mother and my friends. I may or may not have even told my boyfriend because in my head that was in a different compartment. Right from the start Stuart was completely assimilated into my life. He knew my mother from working on the film with me. They got on so well. He met my friends who all loved him. I was the one saying: ‘I just can’t go there’. My mum was pushing me, so were my friends. I was talking the other night about arranged marriages. I can see how good a thing that is. There was something my mum and my friends saw in Stuart that was so right. But at first neither of us would admit to being a couple.

When did you realise you loved him?

What was really odd is that fate kept conspiring to put us together. After he left Los Angeles, within a matter of days I had a shoot for a magazine booked in Paris. We met up afterwards in Dublin. Then he had more work in LA. I then went out again to Ireland. I remember we were sitting in his apartment. It was just a couple of weeks into the relationship but I knew I was falling in love with him. We had a bottle of wine and just talked and talked and talked. I stood up and said ‘Let’s pack up your stuff and ship everything to LA’. We spent all night packing and that was it. We moved into a place together and that was seven years ago.

What do you find attractive about Stuart?

I know I have been in love before but I’ve never been with anyone who was a whole part of me and who was a friend as well as a lover. When Stuart couldn’t get the work he wanted he sat down and wrote a screenplay. I read it and was just amazed. That’s the thing with him. He can amaze me and inspire me and he’s also the sexiest man ever. It makes me laugh but when we’ve been apart and I know I’m going to see him, I get all fluttery in my tummy. No matter how much I love working on a movie, the best part always is when I get to go back home to my sexy, Irish guy.

 

How has Stuart changed you?

My mother made me tough and strong. And Stuart made me softer. He was one of the few guys who wasn’t afraid of me. What he saw was not toughness but vulnerability. I am massively, massively vulnerable and for so long I just worked very, very hard to cover that up. Stuart wasn’t scared to confront that. Stuart is the one man who never worries about kicking me up the backside. It’s a good thing.

But you are determined not to get married…

My mother was married to my father and in South Africa in the 1970s and 1980s divorce was completely taboo. If a woman was unhappy she just had to put up with an unhappy marriage. I believe in love but I don’t believe in marriage. As a kid I didn’t dream about my wedding day because what I knew of marriage wasn’t exactly the stuff of dreams. I want to know that I wake up to Stuart every morning because I want to not because a piece of paper says so. I want it to be the same for Stuart. I also don’t believe in happily ever after. Everything could end tomorrow. If that happens, I’d rather Stuart tell me it was over and know he could just walk away without either of us having to go through the ordeal of a divorce or legal separation.

 

What are the biggest misconceptions abut you?

I can be very serious but I can also be a goof. I’m very much a girl. People think of me as stripping off all my make-up and looking as bad as possible but the thing I love to do most is get all dressed up and go out for a meal with Stuart.

Is there anything about your appearance you don’t like?

I don’t have hang ups about the way I look. I can look at myself in the mirror when I’m all done up and think I look pretty hot but I can see myself every day of the week and see this round Dutch doll face. We’ve got so crazy about our faces and our bodies – particularly in Hollywood. Part of the reason I guard my privacy so much is I like to keep my head free from all that paranoia.

Would you say you are fashion-conscious?

I couldn’t ever be a slave to fashion, but I don’t do scruffy because I can’t do it. It doesn’t suit me. I like clean, classic looks. Just because skinny jeans are in fashion you shouldn’t wear them if they look awful on you.”

What has been your happiest moment?

Winning the Best Actress Oscar in 2004 with my mother there. That moment meant everything. All that flashed through my head was where mum and I had come from, what our lives had been like and how we were now together at this amazing event and I was being given an Oscar. It was more than just an acting victory. It was a victory for both our lives. I couldn’t look at her because I knew if I did I wouldn’t be able to speak from crying. And I just wasn’t going to be the actress who cried!